The Consumer Category
We bring you the chic and unique, the best and most bizarre shopping offers both online and offline. We offer you tips on where to buy, and some of the less mainstream and crazy, individual and offbeat items on the internet. Anything that can be bought and sold can be featured here. And we love showcasing the best and worst art and design.
North Dakota introduces red-light windows for male prostitues
NORTH Dakota is in the news thanks to a tourism poster pulled for being sexist. The North Dakota tourism board went with the theme of the place being the Amsterdam of the USA, albeit with the twist of window babes replaced by whoring window dudes.
In North Dakota, the men where the men wear the kink – leather boots; double collars; chin-strap beards – and the women cruise the windows and take a pick.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 15th, January 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Pretty Pushers sells clothes for the birthing ‘climax’
“PREGNANCY involves much preperation [sic]” observes Felicity Hughes (“RAF Wife & Mother Of Two”) on the Pretty Pushers website.
For about 40 weeks, you shedule [sic] Dr’s visits, compose a birth plan, pick nursery colour schemes, and ponder baby names.
You try to plan every aspect of the journey, but then the contractions begin and often you find that the events in labour itself are far beyond your control, being thrown into the hands of the hospital, birth partener, doula, Dr or whatever your preference can feel quite the opposite to all of the planning that had taken place up until that point.
Pretty Pushers is focused on THAT POINT . . . the Climax . . .the Birth itself.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 11th, January 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment (1)
Photos of the Day: Modern Gelatine Cookery the Star Trek Way
PHOTOS of the Day are presented by the Anorak’s Retro Christmas Hamper – gifts that keep on giving: 101 Hamburger Jokes; Martin Loofah Clean; Ken’s buddy Allan; Modern Gelatine Cookery; the Barnoculars; a fried egg pendant; Wonder Sauna Hotpants; Star Tek Freezicles; Jazzercise with a ‘Top Instructor’; Dippy Canoes; and the Irish Accent Mouthy Spray…
Posted: 10th, January 2012 | In: Key Posts, Photojournalism, The Consumer | Comment
How to make a 3ft high salad tower (video and photos)
HOW do you take advantage of the all-you-can eat salad bar? How do you build a 3ft-high and rising tower of salad? Saladologist Shen Hongrui, a Chinese engineer, has the answer. When his local Pizza Hut in Beijing imposed a one-plate-one visit rule he set to work. New Scientist magazine now share’s Shen’s secrets.
Layer 1. Says Hen: “The foundations are very important, so choose dry and strong material.”
Layer 2. Radiating carrot sticks all the way to the bowl rim.
Layer 3: Vertical walls of cucumber slices or “fruit blocks”. Create a “cylinder”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 8th, January 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Dubai’s Circuit Factory gym says Holocaust was a good thing
“KISS your calories goodbye,” says the adverts for Phil Parkinson’s Circuit Factory gym in Al Quoz, Dubai. Parkinson runs the Circuit Factory’s Facebook group which featured a black-and-white photo of the rail tracks leading to the Auschwitz Nazi death camp and the legend: “KISS YOUR CALORIES GOODBYE.”
The Circuit Factory is like a “calorie concentration camp”.
Parkinson reacts to the messages of shock and horror and issues an apology, of sorts:
“I apologise if I have offended anyone with the campaign. That was certainly not my intention when we created it. You put strong ideas across, and if they’ve been poorly received then I apologise.”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 7th, January 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment
The 10 sexiest men calendars for 2012
THE 10 sexiest male calendars for 2012 features such delights as: Hairy Men; Nice Jewish Men, Dick of the Month, Hot Older Male, Hot Guys With Dogs, Mormon Men, Ruff & Readys Men (with dogs), and the wonderfully fetishistic 6 packs 9 lives – for people who wants to spend 2012 in the company of cats on washboard stomachs.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 6th, January 2012 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comments (4)
Super-jumbo first class is for men only
AIR Travel porn now, as we look inside the first class cabin of Qantas’s A380 super-jumbos. It’s all change for those of you who tun left on boarding a plane. For those of you who turn right, the key difference between economy and first is that not all passengers are men being served by younger blonde women…
Posted: 3rd, January 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Retro Jobs: Learn Taxidermy by mail
BIG Fun and Big money! Learn to Mount Animals by MAIL. Buy the first part and get a free squirrel!
TAXIDERMY is the career for you!!
It’s your Retro Job of The Day!!!!
Posted: 2nd, January 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Man tries to spend $1million bill in Walmart
MICHAEL Anthony Fuller, 53, attempted to pay for his shopping with a $1million note. He was shopping at a Walmart in Lexington.
Fuller has gone to the check out with a vacuum cleaner, a microwave oven and other merchandise, totalling $476. He then handed over his $1million bill.
With no change in the till, the cashier called her supervisors, who called the police. Fuller was duly arrested for “attempting to obtain property by false pretense and uttering a forged instrument”.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 2nd, January 2012 | In: The Consumer | Comment
I want a man, grannie but I have bad breath – vintage Colgate advert
“I WANT a man,” says Libbie. Never fear, Libbie, granny is here to make you feel inadequate. What with your stagnant food mouth, Libbie, you have no chance. But help is t hand. Colgate cream mouth paste will attract amn – and, vially, the right kind of man.
Libbie gets her pasty teeth and Tom to keep her smiling for decades (geddit?!).
Click the ad to embiggen.
Posted: 30th, December 2011 | In: Flashback, The Consumer | Comment
Best advert of 2011: The Aldi woman likes gin
THE most liked advert of 2011 was Aldi’s advert for tea, featuring the line, “I don’t like tea…I like gin“:
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 29th, December 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Shopper killed at Boxing Day sales on Oxford Street
A MAN has been stabbed to death in the middle of London’s Oxford Street, opposite Bond Street Tube Station, just by the FootLooker and Disney store, up from Selfridges. This is the first day of the post-Christmas sales.
At Selfridges shoppers have fought over goods. The first sale at the Selfridges store was a Miu Miu bag, reduced to £909 from £1,250. Bargain is a relative term.
You can almost taste the insanity…
12359895
Posted: 26th, December 2011 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comments (2)
Alleged child rapist Jerry Sandusky sells gay films to child rape fans on TLAGay.com
WHAT would alleged Penn State University child rapist Jerry Sandusky watch on his DVD player? Well, that question is rhetorical because we already know. The good people at TLAGay.com have a “Jerry Sandusky’s Favorite Films” section, in which Jerry Sandusky fans can empathise with the their film guide by watching such movies as Boy’s Love, Schoolboy Crush, Cold Showers, Billy Budd, Tenderness of the Wolves, Punish Me, Acla and A Whole New Thing:
A quirky, home-schooled 13-year-old gay boy goes to public school for the first time and develops a major crush on his English teacher.
Because what all teenage boys want is to raped in the showers, allegedly? Because equating gayness to paedophilia is a step forwards?
When a schoolteacher discovers that the beguiling teen prostitute he once hired is now a student at his school, a scandalous series of events, queer schoolboy drama and lots of nearly-naked shower room scenes ensue. Schoolboy Crush is a Japanese animated film come to life.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 25th, December 2011 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment
Virgin and Waterstone’s say Hitler’s Mein Kampf is ‘recommended reading’ at Christmas
MEIN Kampf, the book by one-hit wonder Adolf Hitler, is said by Waterstone’s to be the “perfect present” for Christmas. Is Waterstone’s just in tune with its readers in Huddersfield, West Yorkshire, giving them the “essential read” that appeals to their prejudices and likes? Is this a reaction to customer feedback or just Waterstone’s attempt to spread the word? The Virgin Megastore has a similar policy in Bahrain, where Mein Kampf is recommended reading to the country’s many unenlightened bigots. Does Richard Branson need the money? Is consumerism so cynical?
Says a Waterstone’s spokesman:
“A customer spotted that one shop had used a seasonal point-of-sale wraparound promoting the book as the ‘perfect present’. Obviously this was not an appropriate thing to say about Mein Kampf. We apologise for the offence caused and will communicate with all our branches at the earliest possible opportunity to remind them of the sensitivities surrounding our stocking of Mein Kampf.”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 24th, December 2011 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comments (2)
Breast Cancer awareness advert features real breasts poking through a billboard
THE advert for the Associação da Luta Contra o Câncer in Mozambique uses real women to push their real breasts through glory holes and have them felt by other real women. You might suppose that this is a selfless act of education by the boobs’ owners who are suffering from breast cancer and want to teach other women what the disease feels like. But that would be wrong. These boobs are just healthy breasts waiting to be ‘examined’.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 22nd, December 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Fabulous photos of a Scottish farmer plucking his turkeys for Christmas
THESE are fantastically macabre, Gothic and rich pictures of farmer John Booth plucking, weighing and hanging his Bronze Turkeys in preparation for Christmas dinner at his farm near Doune, central Scotland. If Peter Greenaway directed Jamie Oliver’s Pukka Xmas Kitchen it would look like this. Yeah. That Jamie would get a proper plucking…
12325370
Posted: 21st, December 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment
FedEx delivery driver tosses computer monitor over a gate
DELIVERY 
Sure, the monitor was broken, but the FedEx delivery man never left a note and invited you to pick it up. That’s progress.
And what do you want for minimum wage…Santa..!?
Posted: 21st, December 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Amy Winehouse is immortalised in a lamp
amy winehouse lamp
AMY Winehouse was a loss to music and life. But you can relight her glow with an Amy Winehouse lamp.
Inspired by what makes her unique, Amy, is a tribute to the great British singer and songwriter. The floor version is a reading lamp, perfect to enjoy with your favorite book. The height is adjustable and it is slightly inclined into the front.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 19th, December 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Christmas means sex with grandma
THE good folks at Crosby’s Molasses know that Christmas is all about have sex with grandma. You might ahve seen mummy kissing Santa, but grandma had the decency to shut the kitchen door…
Spotter: WOW, Copyranter
Posted: 17th, December 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment
The Most Women Hating And Mocking Adverts Ever: Before PC
SEX sells. This much we know. Today, sexiness, nay, sexual availability, is used to sell anything and everything. But before political correctness arrived to make porn a feminist statement, and make it no longer socially acceptable to call a black man “Sooty“, misogyny ruled. We’ve compiled a list of old school adverts that to work would, nowadays, need to come embroidered with a massive dose of irony. Or, better yet, the roles would be reversed. Current advertising mores state that men are idiots to be endured, mocked and tamed by sassy women. One day, those ads will look at ridiculous as these:
Posted: 16th, December 2011 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment
London’s new open platform double-decker buses upset Labour
THE new double-decker buses – the ones with hop-on and off platform – are here. Thank f**k. Is there anyone out there who likes the one-man operated buses? Yep. One. Val Shawcross, Labour’s transport spokesperson on the London Assembly, said:
“What London fare payers need to ask themselves is whether spending millions on re-designing buses when we’re on the verge of another recession should really be a priority.”
These would be the same Londoners paying billions for an Olympic Games they can’t get tickets because they’ve gone to the rich bankers the taxpayer saved with billions, Val?
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 16th, December 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment
The best Christmas present ideas ever
CHRISTMAS is coming fast. You need a gift. But what to get… What to get? Panic ye not. Help is here. We’ve compiled the best gifts ever. You can’t go wrong with these. These are the best Christmas present ideas ever.
And for her…
Posted: 15th, December 2011 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment
World Chocolate Wonderland In Photos
THE World Chocolate Wonderland theme park in Beijing is a wonderland of all things chocolaty. Of course, what with this being China, you might suppose the chocolate on offer is mud or raw sewerage re-scented. But it sure looks good. There’s a chocolate Great Wall of China, which is very likely visible from the chocolate moon. There’s a chocolate waterfall, chocolate money, chocolate Ming vases, and clothes made of chocolate, which may be only good on days that are neither too cold nor too hit but just right. Here’s what the World Chocolate Wonderland looks like:
Posted: 15th, December 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment
The Transsexual Sir Hostesses Of Thailand’s PC Air
THAILAND’S PC Air features transsexual flight attendants. Odd, indeed, to draw attention to the sexuality of trolly dollies. Perhaps it is to augment the legend that all flight crews are sexually available..?
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 15th, December 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comments (2)
Children’s Book Of The Week: A Guide To Bottoms
JON Klassen’s book I Want My Hat Back, Adam Mansbach’s guide to f**king good parenting and now…the children’s guide to bottoms and what goes out of them. (For a guide to what goes in them, see here.)
Read the rest of this entry »
