The Consumer Category
We bring you the chic and unique, the best and most bizarre shopping offers both online and offline. We offer you tips on where to buy, and some of the less mainstream and crazy, individual and offbeat items on the internet. Anything that can be bought and sold can be featured here. And we love showcasing the best and worst art and design.
Tesco Gives Away Free Dead Bird With Horrible Rocket Salad: Photos
PAUL Streeter’s packet of Tesco’s baby leaf and rocket salad – the one he bought from the supermarket’s Burnham-on-Sea branch – contains a free dead bird.
Cheap protein, readers. It’s the miracle of the 21st centruey. Says Mr Streeter:
“I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was horrific. She [his girlfriend] was seconds away from eating it.”
Anorak imagines that even the biggest salad dodger would be able to tell a leaf from a skeletal sparrow.
Mr Streeter had bought the salad to go with a pizza. He says:
“Suddenly my girlfriend shrieked and couldn’t believe what she’d found on her plate. She had ladled the salad onto her plate and thought she was cutting into one of the dark leaves and what she found was a dead bird. I didn’t know what to think. I was concerned about the health of my family as they had eaten some of the salad.”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 15th, November 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment (1)
Ad Watch: Mum Can’t Wait To Get Into Her Daughter’s Lake & Stars Panties
THE advert for Lake & Stars lingerie features mum and daughter in a smouldering clinch.
Says Maayan Zilberman, the company’s co-owner:
“There’s no shock value here.”
Well, not outside of Motherwell, there isn’t:
“We’re not trying to make people feel uncomfortable in order to provoke dialogue.”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 15th, November 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment
eBay Item Of The Day: Erotic Ass Print
HERE’S how to save the economy: the Erotic Ass Print. C’mon Cherie and Tony Blair – you owe us…
Posted: 15th, November 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Vintage Advert Of The Day: The Burlington Mid-Length Sock
VINTAGE advert of the Day: The Burlington Mid-Length Sock – nothing can make it fall down. Well, that’s what they told the Americans. We British knew better. We had sock braces, long johns and sock you can tuck into the double-stitched hem of your Y-fronts…
Posted: 14th, November 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Occupy Wall Street Is Now A ‘Grown Up Coloring Book’: The Revolution Will Be Neat
OCCUPY is the Occupy Wall Street Colouring Book. It’s unclear who the book is aimed at. The PR blurb says:
A Grown-Up Coloring Book Novel Occupy an American cultural phenomena…
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 13th, November 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment
John Lewis Advert Splits The Country: Is The Rabbit In The Box Decapitated Or Alive And Fluffy?
FORGET the Poppy Day debate in which the Daily Mail and David Cameron try to split the nation between the good who wear a new poppy and embroider them on their football kits and the scum who do not, and know what the true schism is centred on this John Lewis advert. Which team are you on?
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 11th, November 2011 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment (1)
So Roberto Cavalli: What Is It Like To Have Sex With A 120 Year Old?
QUOTE of the Week was supplied by Roberto Cavalli, the 70-year-old Italian fashion designer who plans to live another 50 years. It is, after all, all about planning. And with long life comes lots of sex, precisely 15,000 fully penetrative shags.
So he tells Women’s Wear Daily. And he does mean actual sex with actual others. As he told Harper’s Bazaar in June 2010:
“I don’t masturbate thinking about fashion.”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 11th, November 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment
McDonald’s Beyond Parody TV Will Give In-Store Health Advice
MCDONALD’S is to launch an in-shop TV channel. It will be feel good telly with a message:
The programming will be shown in a one-hour cycle consisting of installments or “pods” lasting 20 to 22 minutes. Each component will have several segments that include “The McDonald’s Achievers,” which will profile local high school and college athletes; “Mighty Moms,” a focus on local moms juggling home life with careers in sports such as coaching or training; “McDonald’s Channel Music News” about musical acts, tours and new releases; and Burnett’s “Vimby,” which will cover fashion, art, music, night life, lifestyle and culture news.
But the best bit is that the new channels will contain nuggets on health advice.
Send in the clown…
Posted: 10th, November 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Freeze To Death With Geared Up ScotRail: PR Disaster
SCOTRAIL has released an encouraging e-mail to every customer who ever bothered to check one of its on-line timetables. Most of the more sensible customers were probably reaching for razor blades to slit their wrists in a nice warm bath.
The opening shots in the “come and travel with us teaser” extols its services and starts with:
According to some forecasters, we’re set for another severe winter. That’s why at ScotRail, we are geared up this year to keep more trains running and stations clear, having invested more than £2 million in new equipment and engineering
The picture chosen to illustrate the monopoly supplier’s new two million quid improved service is to the left.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 10th, November 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Company Of The Day Is: Arçelik
COMPANY of The Day Is…Arçelik – Turkey’s number one name in white goods…
Spotter: Michael Kritharis
Posted: 10th, November 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Ad Fail Of The Day: Essilor Invites Hell’s Angel’s To Beat Up Its Customers
THE advert for French glasses firm Essilor invites Hell’s Angels to try to beat the crap out of its customers. The slogan reads: “Hell’s Angels Are Pussies.”
The ad agency behind this then sends out an email:
“Hi there,
After several comments on blogs and in order to avoid any potential troubles with the Hell’s Angels organization in the USA, Essilor USA is asking to withdraw the “Airwear lenses Unbreakable” print from blogs and websites.
Please, it would be more than appreciated if you could do so.
Thanks a lot for your understanding and your help.
Best regards,
Herezie agency”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 9th, November 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment (1)
The Best Christmas Jumpers And Sweaters Ever: A Photo Gallery To Make Sheep Weep
CHRISTMAS is coming. With it comes your new jumper. We’ve compiled a gallery of jumpers to look out for. If you see one in your immediate area, do not approach. Just take a photo and sent it to us. The sweater (and what an apt name for so fearsome a thing) will be hunted down, taken from this place and killed with extreme prejudice by our team of crack sheep. Failing that, it will be hand-delivered to Noel Edmonds…
Posted: 7th, November 2011 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment
How To Find A Chicken Pox Party In Your Area: Follow The Lolly
FOR fans of Chicken Pox, there is the Facebook group called “Find a Pox Party in Your Area”.
The site states its aims:
If your children have the chicken pox and you are willing to help other children obtain natural immunity, please share on the wall. Post your location, such as, “Pox in Alabama”. I will reshare and you can set up the specifics with respondents via private message.
*Warning. The mailing of infectious items, such as lollipops, rags, etc, is a federal offense.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 6th, November 2011 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment
Stuart Hughes Is Tabloid Gold: How Big Media Laps Up One Man’s 24 Carat PR
BRIAN Whelan has caught up with Stuart Hughes. Whelan describes Hughes thus:
This is the man who has tricked some of the biggest global news organisations into running fake stories about the world’s most expensive homes, yachts and cars.
Hughes is a tabloid gold mine, literally. As for “tricking”, well, Hughes just makes statements that media can either take or leave.
The world’s most unique yacht “ HISTORY SUPREME “ probably the most expensive. This project was commissioned for Stuart Hughes of Liverpool U.K. from an anonymous leading Malaysian business man. At 100ft the yacht took 3 years to complete , a circa of 100,000 kilograms of solid gold and platinum were added to make this an exciting project. All features inc deck , dinning area , rails , anchor , made from precious metals. The base of the vessel was wrapped in gold , a thin layer was formed to embrace this huge section. The main sleeping quarter was adorned with platinum accents of which included , wall feature , made from meteoric stone , with genuine Dinosaur bone shaved in from the raptor T – REX. A cost of £3 billion , the most exclusive yacht was born ! Similar unique designs can be found on our other site www.goldstriker.co.uk
Posted: 5th, November 2011 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment (1)
Lingerie Firm Change Makes Staff Wear Bra Sizes On Tags
”WE have dirty old men coming into the shop looking at my cup size. Why should everyone get to know that? Guys selling underwear don’t have to show their size,” says one employee of Change, the Scandinavian lingerie chain.
Staff are encouraged to wear tags displaying their bust circumference and cup size.
Says Susann Haglund, CEO of Change:
”I don’t get why this would be seen as demeaning in any way. I am sure there are those that feel that way, but it is completely voluntary to wear a name tag with your cup size.”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 4th, November 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment
New York’s Corduroy Appreciation Club Needs A Messiah
FANS of corduroy trousers, shirts, knickers and bras are gazing to New York, awaiting November 11 and the arrival of their ‘Messiah’.
New York’s Corduroy Appreciation Club needs a child who turns 11 on 11/11/11. That’s the date that foretold in the ridges of members’ trousers. Of course, it actually says 11/1/1111111111111111111111. But why wait?
Miles Rohan is the club’s founder:
“That child is the messiah of corduroy. We liken it to finding the Dalai Lama.”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 2nd, November 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Chinese Restaurant Sells Koala Bear Stew (Photo)
THE restaurant in Panyu district, Guangdong, sells live koala bears. You can take it away with you – “braised or stewed“. Bu way of a serving suggestion the koala has been placed next to a carrot.
Sounds good. Although the the Sydney Morning Herald reports on one Australian tourist who became upset. He tok a photograph of the lunch that cuddles back.
The man’s colleague calls 3AW radio and gives testimony:
“It’s 100 per cent right, that photo. There’s a carrot in the cage, the idiots have put a carrot in there. The restaurant had a large selection of birds, fish and other sorts of exotic animals on display that the diner could chose from for their gastronomic delight.”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 1st, November 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Inappropriate Toy Of The Day: The Two Finger Squirter
THE Two Finger Squirter is our inappropriate toy of the day:
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 31st, October 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Bad Advert Of The Week: Pert Shampoo For Dog-Faced Men
BAD advert time now, readers. Pert shampoo will stop you from smelling like a dog. It won’t get you laid – but it will get you indoors:
Posted: 29th, October 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Does The Man Who Want To Masturbate In Every New York City Starbucks Work There?
WHO is Mister PeePee, the loyal masturbator whose ambition is to pleasure himself in every Starbucks toilet in New York? That’s over 171 toilets. That’s practically a week of tossing for your average adolescent or Noel Edmonds fan.
The Starbucks Gossip website reports:
A guy who calls himself Mister PeePee set a goal of masturbating in every Starbucks in New York City, then photographing the results.
We learn:
“I’ve got to rate the bathroom on cleanliness,” Mister PeePee said on The Glory Hole podcast, “and [note] if a person knocked on the door and interrupted me.” One of his associates wanted Mister PeePee to also rate “how hot the chicks were in the location — customers and baristas” and “how frequently did someone try to open the door when you were trying to jerk off.” “And lastly, how was the coffee?” added the podcast co-host. (Mister PeePee tweeted at least one of his store ratings: Today’s Starbucks visit is rated as a 4 Boner. Spacious, clean, excellent coffee, strong wifi, no interruptions & 1 hot chick)
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 27th, October 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment
German Book Teaches Children About Their Gay Dad
SO. Why is daddy living with his special friend? A German book explains:
Posted: 27th, October 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment (1)
Skiiing With The Guardian’s Emma Kennedy And The Spirit Of Max Gogarty
IS EMMA Kennedy, the Guardian’s travel writer, a parody? Or has Max Gogarty a new byline?
Kennedy’s article is called Think skiing’s not your kind of thing?
Know this. In my experience, people who turn their noses up at skiingholidays – which, for those of you still languishing in the dark are the BEST HOLIDAYS IN THE UNIVERSE (and yes, I am including a free go on the Millennium Falcon in that) – are women who are obsessed with handbags, shoes and make-up, and lazy, lazy men.
Oh boo hoo, you have to wrap up in salopettes. Boo hoo, you have to wear ski boots. Boo hoo, you have half your face covered up in goggles. Boo boo boo boo booing hoo.
To you I have one thing to say. Get. Over. Yourself.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 25th, October 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment (1)
The Sentient Kitchen: Body Parts Are Anatomical Kitchenware
CHRISTINE Chin’s Sentient Kitchen turns everyday objects into pieces of your pre-depilated body. The nose is, of course, Victoria Beckham’s…
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 25th, October 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Paperback Charlie Brown: Snoopy Occupies Wall Street – A Photo Gallery
PAPERBACK Charlie Brown is a brilliant take on the Peanuts cartoon strips. By Tony Medeiros:
Posted: 24th, October 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment (1)
Tokidoki Barbie Has Tattoos And Suspected Hepatitis B: Photos
THE newest incarnation of the Barbie doll has tattoos. The limited edition Barbie is the work of Mattel and Italy-based brand Tokidoki is yours for $50. Barbie has pink hair, leopard print leggings, a dog called ‘Bastardino’, tattoos and suspected hepatitis B
The Daily Mail scours the web and finds a commenter on the Ms Twixt website for parents of Tween-age girls, who writes:
“Encouraging children that tattoos are cool is wrong, wrong, wrong. Mattel why not put a cigarette and a beer bottle in her hand while you’re at it!”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 20th, October 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment (1)
