The Consumer Category
We bring you the chic and unique, the best and most bizarre shopping offers both online and offline. We offer you tips on where to buy, and some of the less mainstream and crazy, individual and offbeat items on the internet. Anything that can be bought and sold can be featured here. And we love showcasing the best and worst art and design.
Press Release Of The Year: The Wahl Vagina Slicer And Lady Shave
WAHL have issued the greatest Press Release of The Year: the Ladies Beauty Trimmer can also slice off your beef curtains: the picture used to illustrate the shaver is of an electric carving knife…
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Posted: 15th, September 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Typo Causes Romantic Hero To Poo On The Ground
CAN a typo be a PR stunt? (Fingers crossed it – Anaroak ed). Susan Andersen has written a book. She issues a statement:
Hey, all.
I wanted to give you all a head’s up on a killer typo in my digital edition of Baby, I’m Yours and apologize for page 293, where it says:
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Posted: 15th, September 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comments (3)
Celebrities At New York Fashion Week: The Photos
NEW York Fashion Week – the inedible in pursuit of the free, starring: Nicki Minaj, Sting and Bono, Beyonce Knowles, Solange Knowles, Kim Kardashian and…
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Posted: 14th, September 2011 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment (1)
Fat Man Sues White Castle For Having Too Small Chairs
MARTIN Kessman has a problem. He loves eating at White Castle burger bars – but finds it hard to get a seat. Kessman weight 290 pounds. Says he:
“They’re stationary booths. I’m not humongous, [but] I’m a big guy. I could not wedge myself in.”
Kessman’s story is taken up by the New York Post, which illustrates his gripe with a photo of him shoehorned at a table.
Anorak cannot help but imagine slim Kessman walking into the eatery and then after a huge murder burger finding himself stuck fast.
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Posted: 12th, September 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment (1)
The Creepiest World Trade Center Adverts
ON 9/11, it’s time to look at those adverts that featured the World Trade Towers in New York. The ad for the Asbestos Corporation Limited, from 1981, trills:
“Asbestos contains fire, cannot burn and holds up after metal and glass have melted down, giving vital time for people to escape.”
The tagline actually says:
“When life depends on it, you use asbestos.”
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Posted: 11th, September 2011 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment
The Bradford Pizza Mystery: Local News Story Classic
LOCAL News Story of The Day is in the Bradford Telegraph & Argus, which announces:
Owner of pizza bar says sorry and blames computer glitch
It gets even better:
A family are disgusted with a Bradford fast food restaurant after their son was labelled with an abusive term on a receipt delivered with their pizza order. The Gill family have vowed to boycott Rajas pizza bar in Oak Lane, Manningham, that they have used for more than five years, after the insult appeared on their computerised bill.
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Posted: 11th, September 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Perez Hilton Number One Fan Infects Carnaby Street Fashion Show: Photos
THE open air catwalk show on Carnaby Street (Catwalk Carnaby) showcased the work of designers like Nova Dando and and stylists John William and Sarah Owen. Owen is Lily Allen’s half-sister, so the media interest in her is assured. Owen could dress a model as Max Wall and we’d be told how edgy she is. William seems keen to make his own showbiz connections and has come dressed as Perez Hilton’s No.1 fan. Would you let him dress you? Well, would you..?
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Posted: 10th, September 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment (1)
The Nike Air Mag AKA – The Marty McFly Self-Lacing Shoe Is Here: Photos And Design Blueprints
THINGS that exist only in movies no long only exist in the movies – we bring you the self-lacing Nike Air Mags, as seen in Back To The Future II, the film set in 2015.
The Nike Air Mag AKA – the Marty McFly Shoe – can be yours should you want to bid for one of 1500 pairs on eBay, nikemag.eBay.com. Proceeds going directly to the Michael J. Fox Foundation. Says the actor:
“This project is exciting to me because it brings together three very passionate audiences: the Parkinson’s community, the sneakerheads and Back to the Future fans.”
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Posted: 9th, September 2011 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comments (2)
Real-Life Barbies – Photos Of Women Who Want To Be Plastic Dolls
WHAT would Barbie look like in real life? When Anorak compiled out gallery of celebrity dolls we missed Barbie. Does anyone look like Barbie Millicent Roberts? Would anyone alive boast such long legs, massive chest, tiny feet, trim waist, thick hair and slim neck?
Boffins at Finland’s University Central Hospital in Helsinki calculated that real life Barbie would lack the 17 to 22% body fat needed to menstruate. Sorry, Ken. No kids. You can alway adopt, though.
Galia Slayen created a real-life Barbie – the creature stands about 6 feet tall with a 39″ bust, 18″ waist and 33″ hips.
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Posted: 8th, September 2011 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment (1)
East Sussex Pub Bans Family For Requesting Diet Lemonade
LOCAL News Story of The Day : “Family’s request for soft drink leads to lifetime ban.”
The quintessential local news story takes us to Nutley, East Sussex:
A FAMILY have been barred for life from their village pub for requesting that it stock diet lemonade.
Diet lemonade. It is a banning offence.
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Posted: 7th, September 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comments (2)
Laugh Of The Day: The Laughing Women’s Laughter Lines
PHOTO of The Day: The Baltimore Sun reports on Denise Mercer who “loves to laugh“.
Says she:
“I especially don’t like the laugh lines. And I kinda miss the fullness I had in my face.”
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Posted: 5th, September 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comments (3)
The Hövding Is The Invisible Cycling Helmet
THE Hövding is the answer to all cyclists who want to be safe but are concerned that helmets make them look like pillocks.
Swedish desginers Anna Haupt and Terese Alstin bring you The Hövding. At the moment of impact the device that the cyclist wears as a waterproof collar inflates.
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Posted: 5th, September 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment
9/11 In Colouring: We Shall Never Forget 9/11: The Kids’ Book of Freedom (Photos)
WHY not relive the horrors of 9/11 with a colouring book for all the family?
Light up the collapse of the twin towers in bright crayon. Invigorate Osama bin Laden’s execution in inks and brush.The We Shall Never Forget 9/11: The Kids’ Book of Freedom, brought to you by the people at Really Big Coloring Books has a tome “designed to be a tool that parents can use to help teach children about the facts surrounding 9/11“.
Above the 2D histories, you can read aloud or in the comfort of your head:
“Children, the truth is, these terrorist acts were done by freedom-hating radical Islamic Muslim extremists. These crazy people hate the American way of life because we are FREE and our society is FREE.”
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Posted: 4th, September 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comments (2)
How Russia Target Young Smokers – Cigarettes that Taste Like Lollipops
WANT to see how Russian sell cigarettes to the kids? One brand called Kiss boasts that their ciggies taste of burnt lollipops and toasted ice cream. Another advert for the Sweet Dreams label features packaging with happy cartoon girls doing fun stuff, like shopping and heading to the beach in places like Paris, New York, Miami and Rome. Smoking is not only what the cool kids do – it’s what they do all over the world…
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Posted: 3rd, September 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comments (2)
Lingerie For Men – It’s Here At Last
ANORAK has, er, happened upon a website offering lingerie for men. We’ve pulled together a few of the most charged outfit. Would you wear it…for comfort, naturally..?
Posted: 2nd, September 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment
The £250,000 Burger: Truck Down Economics Makes Us All Fat
THE £25,000 burger. No, this isn’t someone smearing foie gras and gold lame over a piece of beef. Rather, let’s grow the meat in a vat and then make a burger. Expensive mind:
First artificial burger to cost £250,000
Artificial meat created in a lab could be ready to eat within six months, scientists claim – but the first burger will cost more than £200,000.
There are a number of technical problems to overcome: it has to be stuck to velcro so it can be “exercised” for as we all know, muscles just don’t grow unless they are. It’s also disturbingly pallid as there’s not much blood moving through it. But the basic idea of growing cells in as vat and then eating them does seem to be possible. If we can grow livers in vats for people (just about possible these days) then growing a burger seems reasonable enough.
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Posted: 1st, September 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Sod Notting Hill’s Travel Bookshop It’s the Libraries That Want Saving
THE Travel Bookshop, on Blenheim Crescent, Notting Hill, London, which featured in the film Notting Hill, is for sale. But can it be saved?
The shop’s current owner, Simon Gaul, now lives not all that locally in France (more nominative determinism). The Telegraph says his shop made a loss of £18,000 last year.
The Bookseller reports:
European Estates Plc has not responded to recent press enquiries from The Bookseller about the closure.
In May, a spokeswoman for the company said: “His [the owner’s] adult children have indicated that they would rather not follow him into the business and so he feels that the continuance of the trade would be best served by selling it on for a new generation to look after one of London’s iconic and special bookshops.”
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Posted: 25th, August 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment
The Most Inappropriate 9/11 Items Ever: The ‘Fun’ Superman Wine Flask
AS the anniversary of 9/11 looms, we scout about for the most appropriate gift to mark the murders of thousands of people and the grinding War on Terror. We find a Superman Flask and some wine to fill it:
“Liebs Cellars in Long Island is promoting a wine that was made “using grapes grown 90-miles from the site of the World Trade Center.”
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Posted: 25th, August 2011 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment
Rook Salad Off The Menu In Isle of Wight Pub: Cannibals On Loose In London
TO Paedo Island, formerly Isle of Wight, where rook salad is off the menu at the Taverners gastropub in Godshill.
Also off the menu is the rook farmer who sold the meat to a rook meat wholesaler – a 45-year-old from Ryde who has been arrested and formally cautioned on suspicion of contravening the Wildlife and Countryside Act.
Paul Cantwell, of Natural England, says:
“Under the provisions of a general licence issued by Natural England, it is legal to undertake control of rooks for certain purposes. It is also technically legal for people to eat the birds they kill under the licence, but it has never been legal to sell wild birds killed for human consumption, with the exception of the wood pigeon.”
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Posted: 23rd, August 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment (1)
How Toilet Paper Is Made In China: Photos
TOILET paper. With a shortage of small, soft and absorbent puppies to hand, China is making its own loo roll. Want to see how they do it? Given the state of the factory, it might be quicker just to take dump in the clogged river outside…
Posted: 23rd, August 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Racist Nivea Presents The Most Racist Adverts Ever
IS this advert for Nivea grooming product racist? The clean-cut black man is holding the severed head of what is either his old self or else one of his tribe who refused to yield to civilisation and kept his hair natural. Chop their heads off – that’ll teach them to use white creams in smart pots.
The message is “Re-civilize Yourself“.
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Posted: 22nd, August 2011 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comments (2)
Ad Break: Because Pear Drop Pop Makes You Burp In Your Lover’s Face
ANORAK has a friend whose father hates the word “fart”. He suggests instead the word “pop”. He must have been referring to this advert for Pear Drops fizzy pop. But it and watch your burps create the ambience for romance…
Posted: 22nd, August 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Prince WiIliam And Kate Middleton Dolls Channel Glenn Close: Photos
KIDS – you’d best watch where you stick those pins. These new Duke and Duchess of Cambridge dolls, called – get this – Prince William and Princess Catherine, have been launched at Hamleys in central London. Unless that Glenn Close in a red tunic and Fiona Bruce, the BBC news reader?
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Posted: 18th, August 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment (1)
Tesco’s Salford Makes Riot Hit Staff Make Up Lost Hours: Mammon Laughs
EVER wondered why no staff stepped in to save Tescos from being smashed to bits by the mob during teh riots? Well, get this news from Manchester: staff sent home under police advice from a Tesco’s in Salford sare being ordered to make up lost hours:
A Tesco spokesman opens his mouth and actually says these words:
“The safety of our staff and customers was our priority. We are very proud of the way the team in Salford and other stores dealt with an extremely frightening situation, going to great lengths to protect our people and get stores re-opened for local communities as soon as possible.
“Our Salford Metro store was closed on the advice of the police. Staff were held back only so the store manager could check it was safe for them to leave. Staff have been given a number of reasonable options to make up their hours. One staff member at Salford is making time back at just 10 minutes a day.”
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Posted: 18th, August 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment
Nuts Relaunches As Magazine Full Of Babes, Girls, Women And Strumpets
NUTS magazine has been in the doldrums. It sells well, but sale are 20% down to 142,212 year on the year. What can the publishers IPC do to reverse the magazine’s fortunes? Well, they commissioned logs of market research. This research went on for six months. And the results are in. As the Guardian reports:
Nuts is sticking to its tried and trusted formula of girls, humour, cars and sport.
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Posted: 16th, August 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment
