TV & Radio Category
Television and radio programme reviews, trailers, highlights, twilights and cinema news. Also the neglected gems from years past.
National Television Awards 2012 – all the winners and photos
THE National Television Awards are presented by – literally – Dermot O’Leary a man so on-message he comes with an SMS display inserted behind his eyeballs. The NTAs are the populist awards voted by the real people (that may or may not be you) who prefer the Daily Mirror to the Guardian, Benidorm to the Dordoyne and think Jeremy Clarkson really should be the Prime Minister. Reality TV and soaps are the stars. Spotting the difference may be the most hollow debate since heated discussion about whether Rebecca Loos was posher than Victoria Beckham. The other debate is Carol Vorderman’s eye. Do the breasts let you see it?
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 25th, January 2012 | In: Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comment
Celebrity Big Brother: Natalie Cassidy and Michael Madsen star in Reservoir Dogs 2
CELEBRITY Big Brother highlight of the night: Natalie Cassidy sucks up to Michael Madsen,the actor whose career walked out the Reservoir Dogs premiere and slipped on a banana skin, (Free Willy 2: The Adventure Home), skidded on a turd (Species 2), fell belly first off a high diving board (Kill Bill: Vol 2) and landed face first in a custard pie (Piranhaconda, which, like Reservoir Dogs, has yet to have a sequel). Says Cassidy:
“I’d like to do a gritty drama with you, Michael. You’ve not seen my body of work.”
A body of wok that includes: EastEnders, followed by (sliiiiiiip!) Celebrity Driving School, Eurovision: Making Your Mind Up, Natalie Cassidy’s Diet Secrets (Shhh!), Celebrity Mastermind and Strictly Come Dancing.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 25th, January 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (8)
Tortoise has sex with a crocodile (video horror)
THIS video of the tortoise having sex with the Croc is just so very wrong. Since when did crocs become ‘F*ck me shoes‘? Not that we’re complaining. After all, how many men with far younger lovers have looked at the price stuck to the sole of pair of Jimmy Choo’s and wondered ‘ F**k me!?’
Spotter: I Own The World
Posted: 24th, January 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
Cat fights aligator for lunch (video)
ON the Cajun Pride Swamp Tours, New Orleans, Louisiana, you can experience tourists egging on a cat to fight an aligator for a Japanese tourist’s ribs. Had the cat been eaten, or the cat gouged the ‘gators eyes, the happy tourists would have had an even better video. Or maybe the cat and the ‘gator can join forces, forming an unlikely duo who eviscerate and eat holidaymakers before forming a shadowy international alliance that takes on the Chinese handbag industry? Call me, Hollywood, I have ideas…
Posted: 24th, January 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
Davina McCall is Possessed on The Million Pound Drop Live
DAVINA McCall, hostess of The Million Pound Drop Live, is possessed? Either that or else she’s realised that she’s now fronting the worst gameshow on the telly, one on which it is notoriously hard to win – £275,000 has been given away since the show began in May 2010.
Posted: 23rd, January 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
Lukáš Kmit responds to the Nokia ringtone heckler
AT the synagogue in Presov, Slovakia,virtuoso Lukáš Kmit is interrrupted by the Nokia ringtone, tune of lost causes and middle-aged mobile phone ineptitude.
What does Lukáš Kmit do? Answer: the right ing – with style…
Spotter: Daily Picks and Flicks
Posted: 22nd, January 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
Britain’s Got Talent Manchester auditions in photos: Alesha Dixon is Alesha Beacon
BRITAIN’S Got Talent: Alesha Dixon was Alesha Beacon for the first auditions of 2012 Britain’s Got Talent at the Lowry Theatre in Salford, Manchester. Well, so says the blurb. Lots of the talent has already been handpicked, of course.
The real stars are there year on year. No, not Dixon, Simon Cowell and the judges. Ant ‘n’ Dec…Without them BGT is the X Factor and any other tired format.
12540101
Posted: 21st, January 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
A man runs along the beach (video)
HOW was your Christmas break? Go anywhere hot. Keep fit? We did.
Old Mr Anorak, our patron, is currently wintering at his Thai ladies ping-pong winter training camp.
Posted: 20th, January 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
Simon Cowell offers BGT winners a Branson Botox
SIMON Cowell, eye licker and peddler of great format telly that has for years spiced the bland ITV schedules with two massive hits is on the cover of the red-tops:
“COWELL: I’LL BLAST THE BGT WINNERS INTO SPACE” – Daily Mirror
“COWELL BLASTS TV CHAMP INTO SPACE” – Daily Star
“COWELL: I GOT IT WRONG” – The Sun
News is that the auditions for Britain’s Got Talent are off and running. Stage schools, shopping precincts, hairdressers and cruise ships have been mined for acts to enliven the format.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 20th, January 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
A dog balancing balancing a chain (video)
EVER seen a dog balancing a chain? Well, you are about to see a dog balancing on a chain. But we’re greedy, aren’t we. We want to see him do it whilst juggling…
Posted: 17th, January 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
Crowboarding – the crowd surfs the icy roof (video)
CROWBOARDING – the crow surfs the icy roof on the buttons from Santa’s waistcoat…
Posted: 16th, January 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
Fail – BBC weather girl says ‘it’s wetter than an otter’s pocket’
BBC weather girl weather girl (why aren’t the men weather boys?) Carol Kirkwood says it is wetter than an otter’s pocket.
Pretty safe to say that CArole Kirkwood does not read the Profanisaurus”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 16th, January 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
Blonde monkey girl begs in Indonesia (video)
TO Indonesia, where the monkey girl is begging. She’s a blonde. they tried it with a ginger but no-one gave a penny…
Posted: 15th, January 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
Small dog searches for ball in big pile of leaves
CUTE video of the day – a small dog searches for his ball in a big pile of leaves:
Spotter: Say OMG
Posted: 11th, January 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (2)
Take Me Out sex scandal with filthy carpets and explicit Facebook photos
IN the “TAKE ME OUT SEX PARTY SCANDAL”, the Sun uses its front page to tell readers of a “2-day boozy bash”; “Mansion trashed”; “Mob’s obscene pics”.
Take Me Out is the Saturday Night TV show watched by people slumped in front of the telly and not going out. The Paddy McGuinness-fronted dating show is “a televisual representation of chucking out time at your local nightclub, as 30 shrieking women compete to date one man” while dressed like extras from a Hollywood sex-and-sandals slave auction.
At the end of rounds in which the male introduces a video of himself being nice to his mum and showing his muscles, the women ask innuendo-laden questions and the man performs a 30-second talent act, the ladies show their interest by keeping their light lit – white means he’s well in; red means he either has to pay for it or has no chance. McGuinness then utters the best catchphrase on British telly, “No lighty, no likey.”
This is the backdrop for the Sun’s story, which follows the week’s earlier news that contestant Aaron Withers’ punched a woman named Amy Kerr in the face during a pub fight with her boyfriend Simon Edwards in Frome, Somerset. Withers, a “tarmac worker'” who has advertised himself as a £50-an-hour escort, pleaded guilty and was fined £200 and told to pay £50 compensation to both victims.
So. To today’s shocker:
HORDES of Take Me Out wannabes had a wild sex and booze party at a £4.5million mansion which was trashed.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 11th, January 2012 | In: Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comment (1)
How skipping stones work – a scientific video on Holy Balls
HOW do skipping stones work? This is how, according to the brains at Brigham Young University.
Holy Balls!
Holy Waboba! from Tadd Truscott on Vimeo.
Spotter: Paul Berger
Posted: 10th, January 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
Media Week with Kerrang! radio’s Alex Baker is beyond parody
MEDIA Week catches up with Alex Baker, presenter and commercial programming manager at Kerrang! and Q Radio. He is not a work of parody nor of Bret Easton Ellis.
Highlights are:
Monday:
You know that horrible ‘HONNNK’ tone that the iPhone alarm makes? Apparently it’s not that alarming as I’m sleeping through it like a baby. I hate to sound smug (and I realise that I do), but I love working in radio, so springing out of bed in the morning, once awake, is never a problem.
I get into the office at 8am – not bad considering the New Year’s drinking shenanigans. Ever since I started working in the commercial radio sector, I’ve had an internal pact that I only drink the products on New Year’s Eve that we, at Kerrang! Radio and Q Radio, have advertised that year. So Saturday night consisted of the potent mix of Jack Daniel’s and cola/ginger in a can, Marston’s Hobgoblin, and Budweiser, thanks to everyone at InBev – who will be pleased to know that I allocated a designated driver and drank their product responsibly.
…
Next up, some script writing for a really exciting Virgin Active campaign, a campaign that will, for the first time ever, make weight loss my job.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 10th, January 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
The Delivery – a John Lewis boy with a box film
FIRST came the John Lewis boy and his head in box Christmas gift. Now comes the Laughing Basset comedy group and their weepy box – starring Truman, Gina Jenkinson, Richard Colley (with laughter from Steven O’Neill)…
Posted: 9th, January 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
RIP Bob Holness: with Konnie Huq and The Two Pauls
RIP Bob Holness. Christina Martin remembers:
I WATCH Blockbusters repeats every tea time on Challenge.
During yesterday’s episode I turned to my boyfriend and asked: “Is Bob Holness still alive?”
Today he died.
I’m think I may have jinxed him.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 6th, January 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
Natasha Giggs gets a dollar for Celebrity Big Brother
CELEBRITY Big Brother housemate Natasha Giggs does not feel like she has had the chance to out across her side of the story of her affair with her brother-in-law Manchester United player Ryan Giggs other than what people read in the, er, stories she sold to the tabloids?
As she entered the house, Big Brother played Aloe Blacc’s I Need a Dollar. The Big Brother celebrity budget only goes so far…
PS- This is not the first Big Brother Natasha has been on.
Posted: 5th, January 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
Alana off Toddlers & Tiaras is here to be loved (video)
DONTCHA love hating other parents? 
As such, Alana’s parents, June and Mr Living-The-Dream – as seen on TV’s Toddlers & Tiaras – must laugh at the rest with gusto. You can’t have that must paper towelling and be wrong about anything. It’s what Noah would have used to absorb the flood had he had real foresight and a blonde child:
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 5th, January 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
Hamster Submarine runs on renewable energy
THE Hamster Submarine runs on renewable energy:
Posted: 4th, January 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
Frankie Cocozza found lurking in plug hole (Video)
What’s blocking your plug hole? Let’s see. Why, it’s X Factor reject Frankie Cocozza! Or is it Chewbacca’s arse?
Posted: 3rd, January 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
Park Jo Min is South Korea’s Adele
ADELE can’t sing. Adle is sick of throat. But 15-year-old Park Ji Mon can sing. 
Park Jo Min’s accent is spot on. It’s incredible. Can BT hire Park Jo Mon for their Indian call centres, or just move their call centres to South Korean. She’s no Adele but Park Jo Mon can make beautiful musak while you repeatedly smash your face into a desk.
Spotter: The Daily What
Posted: 30th, December 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment (1)
Women shoplifts crate of Guinness up her skirt (Video)
WANT to see a woman shoplifting an entire crate of Guinness up her skirt? 
Posted: 29th, December 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (3)
