TV & Radio Category
Television and radio programme reviews, trailers, highlights, twilights and cinema news. Also the neglected gems from years past.
Did I’m A Celebrity Gillian McKeith Fall Pregnant From Live Kangaroo Sperm?
I’M A Celebrity Bush *ucker Gillian McKeith is – shock of shocks – pregnant. So far we have revealed:
* Gillian The Reptilian is NOT a kangaroos anus but an actual contestant
* Gillian is a reptile
* Gillian can faint without being near anything that she could hit her head on
* Gillian have never sniffed her own poo on the telly
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Posted: 24th, November 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (11)
The TSA’s Japanese Instructor Revealed: Video
THE TSA has Japanese roots. The boarder guards are enjoying the WMD – Women of Mass Distraction…
Previously:
Posted: 23rd, November 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
The Best And Worst Of Robert Kilroy-Silk Video: He Really Did Exist
BEFORE Jeremy Kyle crawled from an egg, there was Robert Kilroy-Silk to entertain the institutionalised and journalists in the mid-morning TV slot.
Having seen the Kylie “At the end of the day” video (below), now enjoy Kilroy’s TV review.
Kilroy was the MP who became a telly wonder and ended up eating a kangaroo’s penis on I’m A Celebrity. Where could he go from there but to the highlights package…?
After Kilroy, enjoy Kyle:
At the end of the day:
Posted: 23rd, November 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
Saturday Nigh Fever On A Caturday: Video
HERE’S a cat doing the Saturday Night Fever walk:
Posted: 23rd, November 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
I’m A Celebrity’s Kayla Collins Fights Colour Prejudice In Black Bikini: Photos
KAYLA Collins wore a black bikini on I’m A Celebrity. Can a black bikini do for Kayla what a white two-piece did for Myleene Klass?
Are we ready to vote for a black bikini?
Or is democracy still raddled by colour prejudice that we had hoped Barack Obama’s election…
(Continues for 76 pages).
Posted: 23rd, November 2010 | In: Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comment
BBC TV’s Rip Off Britain: Is It A Repeat?
ANGELA Rippon is the presenter of BBC1’s Rip Off Britain. Is this the same Rippon who fronted the BBC2 show Sun, Sea and Bargain Spotting, which featured cameraman Craig Harman posing as a member of the public to buy an acrylic panel from a contestant?
Posted: 23rd, November 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
The Mechanical Baby Is Alive: Video
THE mechanical baby is alive!
Spotter: Arbroath
Posted: 23rd, November 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
I’m A Celebrity Shocker: Gillian McKeith Not Kangaroo Rectum But A Contestant
GILLIAN McKeith might look like a kangaroo’s rectum but she is actual fact a CONTESTANT on I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here.
Gillian The Reptilian is in line for her seventh bushtucker trial. And having fainted and dodged the sixth trial, she needs something dramatic to escape the maggots this time.
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Posted: 23rd, November 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
X Factor Wannabe Katie Waissel’s Prostitute Grandma Is A Marvel: Photos
THE news that X-Factor wannabe Katie Waissel granny is an 81-year-old ‘escort’ filled me with joy yesterday. I was soooo impressed. (And let us not forget porn star Ruby Tuesday.)
‘Pensioner Sheila Vogel-Coupe offers sex as a “vintage vamp” under the name of Grand Dame Cecilia Bird and boasts she has clients in their twenties,’ screamed the News of the World in their story wittily headlined ‘Gum and get it’. The Sun calls her the ‘£250-an-hour crinkly tart’ today in its customary cheapo recap of its sister paper’s exclusives.
Read: How The X Factor And Sony BMG Fixed It For Katie Waissel, aka Katie Vogel.
I must say the Grand Dame looks nothing like her age and demonstrates a wit and canniness young hacks on tabloids can only dream about. She has found the wherewithal to buy her ‘sheltered accommodation’ flat – so the housing association can’t throw her out – and she shortly embarks on a trip to Italy. She dresses elegantly, loathes tattoos, drinks fine red wines and probably uses an expensive mouthwash.
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Posted: 22nd, November 2010 | In: Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comment
The Gillian McKeith Song: The I’m A Celebrity Reptilian
GILLIAN McKeith is on I’m a Celebrity. This is her song. Gillian you are reptilian…
Take her away, Brett Domino….
Leeds Tribute To Michael Jackson On Keytar
Posted: 22nd, November 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (9)
The Rap Antidote: Jon Lajoi Is A Normal Guy Motherf**ker.
JOIN Lajoi is normal who raps (audio is NSFW):
Posted: 22nd, November 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
X Factor: Rhydian Roberts No Longer Glows In The Dark At War Of Worlds (Photos)
WHATEVER happened to X Factor runner up Rhydian Roberts, who was pipped at the post by Leon Jackson (look him up – he does not exist!) and finished one place above Same Difference, a brother and sister act John Wydnham would have thought too creepy? Rhydian was the one who looked like he’d come marching from out of an Russian Atomic weapons factory and not stopped walking or slackening his pace until he’d reached the Fountain Studios in Wembley where he’d started to sing and glow. Anyhow, Rhydian now has black hair – jet black – and is starring with the young Francis De La Tour that is Liz McLarnon and Jason Donovan in Jeff Wayne’s musical version of War of the Worlds. Rhydian has talent. If he was in the this year’s show, he’d win. Or lose out to another non-entity.
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Posted: 21st, November 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
X Factor: Katie Waissel And The Link To Islamic Extremism
IS X Factor hate figure Katie Waissel being targeted because she is Jewish? Or is it because of this? Or that? Or the saucy photos? Or is she in the bottom two so often because fans want to see her sing twice every weekend? The Daily Star has an idea.
RACE HATE KATIE WAISSEL GETS THE CHOP
There have been a few comments made about her race in the internets. But who can the Star get to add grist to the mill?
Notorious Muslim fanatic Abu Yahya attacked her, saying: “I can imagine people having hatred for her because of the conflict in Palestine.”
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Posted: 21st, November 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (2)
X Factor Beatles Week: Katie Waissel Performs As Heather Mills
IT’S X Factor Beatles Week. Those headlines in full:
John Lennon gets murdered by Cher Lloyd before millions in super slow motion
Yoko Ono rumoured to be willing to date One Direction’s Harry Styles for good of planet and popular music as band breaks up as result
Women scream “Get Bak” at Wagner
Katie Waissel performs as Heather Mills in a desperate bid to be less hated
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Posted: 20th, November 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
The Unbreakable Glass Lid Breaks: QVC Demo Fail
LADIES and gentlemen, we present the unbreakable glass lid. On next week’s show, the unbreakable concrete floor…
Posted: 20th, November 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
X Factor: Katie Waissel Gets That Britney Spears Hair Cut
KATIE Waisell, momentarily knocked from the top of the news agenda by Kate Middleton, has “FLED” the X Factor.
Katie Waissel has left the X Factor. The singer who could not be killed off by conventional voting methods has left of her own accord. The Star is factual about “FRAIL” Katie:
KATIE WAISSEL sensationally quit the X Factor house after another week of torment and panic attacks behind the scenes.
Read: How The X Factor And Sony BMG Fixed It For Katie Waissel, aka Katie Vogel.
She has gone. Fact.
Hated wannabe Katie has quit the contestants’ house after another week of behind-the-scenes hell.
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Posted: 20th, November 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
Strictly Come Dancing Photos: Ann Widdecombe Dances The Cillit Broom Bang-A-Bang
STRICTLY Come Dancing’s Ann Widdecombe was being tossed about by Anton du Beke at Blackpool’s Tower Ballroom. The cameras clicked. Was this an advert for a new celebrity mop, the renowned virgin launching her own brand of Cillit Bang?
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Posted: 19th, November 2010 | In: Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comment
Jason Manford Is No Longer The One Show’s One
JASON Manford is no longer the one on BBC TV’s The One show. The married telly ace has been having sexy times with as many as 12 women on the web. Says Manford:
“I have only myself to blame. I have never felt so low.”
Well, that’s The One show for you…
Posted: 19th, November 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment (1)
The Parrot Antagonizes The Cat: Parrot Retreats
WHY do cats kill birds? Why? Whyyyy? The parrot knows…
Pet owners: make your own fun and liven up a quiet night in by watching your pets fight. Cats and dogs are old hat. Be on trend with a cat and a crocodile, or a dog and an emu?
Posted: 18th, November 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (2)
I’m A Celebrity: Gillian McKeith ‘Sweats It Out In The Bush’ (Then Wrings It Out In A Beaker)
WITH Gillian McKeith in the I’m A Celebrity jungle, Anorak has sent one of old Mr Anorak’s relief nurses out to buy a degree from Debenham’s and stand in the lavatories at Euston train station. She is holding her nose as fat people emerge panting and spent from cubicles. She is telling them they need to be better at pooing. Gillian, your country is in safe hands.
Gillian is appreciate of our efforts to remind the fat that their excrement smells. She has written to Anorak. She is still flogging her keep-fit, lose weight, poo- better club. And the missive come with coupon called the “jungle offer”.
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Posted: 17th, November 2010 | In: Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comment (1)
Man Who Used Peugeot To Shunt Mazda And Ford Parked Over His Garage Banned From Driving
IN this video (and why no Benny Hill soundtrack?) Ronald Pemberton, 83, us seen to use his Peugeot estate to shunt the Ford Ka that has inconvenienced him by blocking his garage. The driver has gone to nearby Cabot Primary School in St Paul’s, Bristol.
That was but one incident. Two weeks later Pemberton shunted a silver Mazda in similar fashion. The Peugeot is mighty. Who will take it on? Anorak suspects this a class matter, and had Pemberton attempted his manoeuvre in, say, Hampstead or Chelsea, he’d have found the massive 4×4 blocking his driveway hard if not impossible to shift.
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Posted: 17th, November 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (4)
I’m A Celebrity: Gillian McKeith’s Fitness System Is The Compliance Of Science
IF, like us, you subscribe to Gillian McKeith online you will have learnt of the Gillian McKeith Fitness System. Says the email on the day Our Gillian is screaming in dark box:
Gillian McKeith’s Fitness System Launches Today!
It’s the product of McKEITH RESEARCH LTD, a pseudo scientific name. And this is science. Gillian has a glossary of scientific terms:
ORDER – This is the order of how you should perform the exercises.
(Slow down, Gillian! Take notes. Questions later.)
It is also science because Gillian introduces us to ‘Foam Rolling’ (frothing at the mouth as your bite into a crocodile’s knob) and says:
There are many studies to support the efficacy of regular moderate fitness exercises
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Posted: 17th, November 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (2)
TV Interviews Drunk Woman Who Crashed Into School Bus
ELIZABETH Crull give a post-crash interview to the TV news right after crashing her car into a bus full of school children in Orlando, Florida. WESH 2 News was on the scene at Roger Williams Boulevard in Orlando. Her drool slipped onto the pedals and made the accelerator and the brake merge into one before they swapped places… And… Oh, it’s too darn hard. Here. She tells the story better:
Posted: 17th, November 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
When the Emu Met The Dog: A Video Of Hope
AN Emu and a dog can get along. There is hope for the world, yet…
Posted: 17th, November 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
I’m A Celebrity: Gillian McKeith Shrinks Your Love Organ
I’M A CELEBRITY: Can we make Gillian McKeith faint again? The star of You Are What You Eat – and that makes Gillian a hairy anus (or what she might call a “love organ”) – is the walking contraceptive and killjoy who will stop your eating of biscuits and finding happiness in a big iced bun. Smaller is better. And Gillian is tiny.
Gillan knows what is best for you. Just get a load of how terrific she looks. Not her scowling outward appearance, naturally, but her bowel and sphincter, which are stunning.
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Posted: 16th, November 2010 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (10)
