TV & Radio Category
Television and radio programme reviews, trailers, highlights, twilights and cinema news. Also the neglected gems from years past.
The Sun Was Hotter Jade Goody Was A Star
JADE GOODY has been involved in a “nightclub brawl”, or a “nasty catfight”.
A spokesperson for Jade later insisted “she had NOT been asked to leave the club”. Sun readers learn that “Jade was a victim of an unprovoked attack by another girl. She tried to defend herself and was not asked to leave.”
The Sun has the scoop; its news following the front-page thoughts of Omar Bakri and musings on McCartney and Mills.
It all adds up to the Sun’s nostalgia special. Very soon the paper will be published by a rheumy-eyed robot pressing F9 on the keyboard and creating an organ from bits of editions past…
Posted: 25th, March 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment
Big Brother 9 Is TV Bird Flu
“BIG BROTHER GOES NUDE,” announces the Star’s front-page headline.
“Housemates forced to appear totally NAKED!” It’s “BARE BRUV.”
The Star goes on to talk of a “love loft” in which housemates can “get jiggy”.
Fans of the show – one and all – will recall the chicken coop, the pen in which good layers were harvested and bred.
In one series the birds contracted a disease and had to be contained.
Big Brother 9 – it’s TV bird flu…
Posted: 20th, March 2008 | In: Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment
Non-PC PC With Kelvin MacKenzie, Hardeep Singh Kohli And Lembit Opik
IT’S political correctness gone mad. IT’S the Non-PC PC story. It’s a literary genre in its own right.
Today Kelvin MacKenzie plays the game by listening to comedian Hardeep Singh Kohli calling LibDem MP Lembit Opik “Lemsip”.
Says MacKenizie in the Sun: “Lembit has an Estonian background and is therefore going to have an Anglo-Saxon name, in exactly the same way as Hardeep.”
Well, not exactly the same way. We are no experts on Estonian names, but Hardeep does sound more Asian in origin than Baltic.
Says MacFrenzie, who met both Hardeep and Lembit on the celebrity version of The Apprentice: “Supposing Lembit has referred to him as Hardup, then almost certainly there would have been a massive ‘race row’.”
Or not. MacKenzie says the unsayabale, Toothpik gives a watery smile and Hardeep gets a call to play Baron Hardup in Cinderella…
Posted: 20th, March 2008 | In: Celebrities, Politicians, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment
Ryan Seacret Apparently In Details
RYAN Seacrest is the host of American Idol, the TV talent show.
That’s him on the right. And, apparently, that’s him on the left.
Of course, this is all part of being a celebrity.
In Ebony magazine, we’d expect to see Ryan with darker, curlier hair, more gererous lips and the complexion of a frappucchino. The cover of Swine Practicioner has Ryan with a porcine nose and pinker skin.
And so on…
Posted: 17th, March 2008 | In: Celebrities, Photojournalism, TV & Radio | Comment
I’d Do Anything: Graham Norton Is Back for More
“I’D Do Anything”, the BBC’s new search for a star show, has a title that echoes the words of many casting couch auditions.
It is hosted by Graham Norton, who one imagines would do anything to be on the telly.
Norton came to the Beeb via Channel 4, where his eponymous chatshow featured steamy websites, sex toys and an adolescent probing of his guests to say something “naughty”.
“I’d do Anything…Ooer Missus, You Dirty Girl” is the title of this his latest title.
Each mention of the phrase “I’d Do Anything” should be given a visual full stop by the cameras panning to Norton who purses his lips, clutches his hands to his cheeks and forms his mouth into a perfect ‘O’.
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Posted: 17th, March 2008 | In: Celebrities, TV & Radio | Comment
Valentine Warner Tells You What To Eat Now
MEET Valentine Warner, the man the Mirror heard called the “Russell Brand of the kitchen”.
Warner is the new face of the BBC celebrity chef series What To Eat Now, in which a TV chef places his food before the nation and tells them they must eat it all up or else they can’t go out and play.
But would you want to eat food prepared by man so dubbed? This is Brand, the priapic BBC presenter with the backcombed hair, author of the masturbatory memoir My Booky Wook.
That’s him serving you your TV dinner…
Posted: 17th, March 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment (1)
Win A Date With Big Brother’s Chanelle Hayes
In “CHANELLE” I need a man and it could be YOU”, Big Brother starlet Chanelle Hayes advertises herself on the Star’s front page.
To win Chanelle, readers are invited to answer not one, not two, but three questions.
Anorak put the questions to the typing pool and accounts team, and now features the top answers for each.
Can you do better? Answers go towards a GCSE in Big Brother Studies:
Q1. My perfume’s called Mwah!. If you were a perfume what would you be called and why?
A. Forgotten. One squirt of Forgotten and you struggle to remember whatshername from Big Brother. Also available in a men’s fragrance and room deodoriser.
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Posted: 17th, March 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment (1)
EastEnders Star Writes Her Own Scripts
SAYS Lacey Turner, EastEnders’ hard-faced harridan Stacey Slater: “I think a lot find me intimidating… The ones you want to talk to don’t come over – but you get the drunk ones who burp in your ear.”
And the EastEnders’ scriptwriters take notes…
Posted: 17th, March 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment
This Is The Best Entry Ever
THIS Is The Best Entry Ever…
Posted: 14th, March 2008 | In: TV & Radio | Comment (1)
The World’s First Voiceless Phone Call
THE World’s First Voiceless Phone Call…
Well, not really. There’s the breathing. Always the breathing…
Posted: 14th, March 2008 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (2)
Psychic Sally Sees EastEnders
OK! Magazine’s “PSYCHIC SALLY” is in conversation with EastEnders’ Joe Swash.
Dim the lights…
Sally: You play your character in EastEnders relly well, as as far as the public is concerned, you are Mickey. But you have a burning need to do something else. Would I be right?
Joe: Yes, you would be.
As reported on Anorak on February 25, Joe has been written out of the EastEnders cast.
Spooky…
Posted: 13th, March 2008 | In: Celebrities, OK!, TV & Radio | Comment (1)
Wajeha Huwaider’s Video For Saudi Arabian Women
WAJEHA Huwaide takes a stand against Saudi Arabia’s ban on female drivers in the kingdom.
In Saudi Arabia, this is rebellion:
Many women in this society are able to drive cars, and many of our male relatives don’t mind us driving,” she says in Arabic.
“I hope that by next year’s International Woman’s Day, this ban on us will be lifted.”
Posted: 12th, March 2008 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (2)
The Wire, The Sun’s Pulizter Prize And The Death Of Newspapers
EXTREME Mortman looks at The Wire, The Sun And The Death Of Newspapers:
In Wolfe’s sprawling big city drama, the people on top — no matter how crooked or how lying, and no matter whether their stated purpose is to do the public good or harm — always finish on top. In “The Wire” conclusion, the ending appears upbeat — lots of smiling faces, lots of individual accomplishment, peppy music. But the folks who succeeded are, for the most part, crooks and liars.
The point was driven home — actually, bludgeoned home — by the Sun paper winning a coveted Pulitzer Prize, for essentially knowingly lying. David Simon (and did our eyes deceive us, or was that Simon himself in a brief cameo sitting at a cubicle with a sticker that says “Save The Sun”) has the paper winning an award for public service that they most certainly did not deserve. That comes after Haynes, in a newsroom rant, cites journalistic luminaries Jayson Blair and Stephen Glass.
The irony is that today, in real life, newspapers are being done in by the Internet, by bloggers. In Simon’s “Wire,” the Internet is acknowledged — but it’s not the reason for the newspaper’s black eye. It’s their own fault. It’s trampling on the truth, and disinterest in fact checking if it means missing a prize.
Posted: 10th, March 2008 | In: Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment
Janina San Miguel Beats Miss Teen South Carolina
JANINA San Miguel Beats Miss Teen South Carolina in the ‘Unthreateningly Stupid’ part of the beauty contest:
Posted: 10th, March 2008 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (20)
Go The Clockwork Green Team
GO the Greeen Team. You can have any colour so long as it’s green… (NSFW) The Clockwork Greens:
Green Team! Green Team!! Green Team!!!!
Posted: 8th, March 2008 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
Will Kerry Katona’s Father Please Confess
ARE you Kerry Katona’s dad? What about you? You? You? You? What about you James Spears?
What does it pay to be Kerry Katona’s father? We do not know. All the Sun says is that the celebrity lettuce shaker wants the man she believes is her dad to take a DNA test on her TV show Kerry Katona: Crazy In Love.
Kerry’s supposed father is John Dowd, although on first view the Anorak mistook him for Alan Titchmarsh. Therein would lie a greater story.
But John it is. He received this letter from a TV production company: “Kerry would like to do a DNA test with you. However, because we are filming the whole time, we would like to capture this on camera.”
Nothing like a spot of science to enliven a celebrity-fed reality TV show.
Says John: “It’s like blackmail, it’s unbelievable. They’re basically saying, ‘If you don’t do it on TV, then she won’t do it’.”
The Alan Titchmarsh show is on 2.30 pm at ITV1.
Posted: 7th, March 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment (1)
The War On Terror Ray Gun
THE War on Terror Ray Gun. Brought to you by the makers of War On Stupidity:
Posted: 7th, March 2008 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (2)
Paul Radcliffe’s Olympic ‘Arse Bath’ And BBC Man’s Wee Spot Of Bother
SPORTS quote of the day: BBC Breakfast news presenter Chris Hollins reporting on athlete facilities at the Beijing Olympic village: “A shower might cause problems for Paula Radcliffe, who as we know prefers an arse bath or two.”
Adding: “Sorry. An ice bath. I’d better go.”
Posted: 7th, March 2008 | In: Back pages, TV & Radio | Comments (2)
Nick Clegg Gets On His Bike
STEVE Webb, the Liberal Democrat’s environment spokesman, is sat on the GMTV Sunday sofa talking of his boss, Nick Clegg.
Says he: “Nick is experimenting with some sort of low-carbon moped for getting around London, so I’m sure there is photograph coming out of that.”
And one that should be reproduced for years and years and years to come…
Picture: Poldraw
Posted: 7th, March 2008 | In: Politicians, TV & Radio | Comment
US Soldiers Torturing Puppy: Dogs Of War
DO these videos – including one of a US soldier throwing a puppy off a cliff – reveal the dehumanization of American troops in Iraq and Afghanistan?
It makes for unpleasant viewing:
Leaving scene of accident:
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Posted: 5th, March 2008 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (10)
Anne Diamond Needs To Be Thick Skinned
ASKS Hello!” magazine of Anne Diamond, who walked off Celebrity Fit Club:
“Some hurtful things have been written about your struggle with your size. Have you become thick-skinned?”
Or just big boned? Anne…
Posted: 4th, March 2008 | In: Celebrities, Hello!, TV & Radio | Comment
A Coronation Street On Every Street
PLANS are afoot for a Coronation Street pub on “YOUR STREET”, says the Star on its front page.
What having a pub on every street in the country will do for binge drinking can only be feared, but if it what the fans of the soap demand, then it will hard to stop.
We would argue that to be truly authentic, your street should host a knicker factory, a cab office, a bus stop, a corner shop, a kebab shop and the associated doctor’s surgery.
In a stroke, Britain’s manufacturing industry is restored, the NHS is improved, car emissions curtailed, supermarkets beaten, drink-driving banished and, if the kebabs can be laced with free range tomato and organic horse the heath of the nation improved.
If you have been affected by any of the words in today’s story call 0800 CONFUSED, where Casualty’s team of medics will be on hand to help…
Posted: 4th, March 2008 | In: Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment (1)
Labour Says BBC Is Soft On Cameron
“LABOUR accuses BBC of going soft on Cameron,” says the Mail.
Labour has lodged an official complaint, claiming Radio 4’s Today programme has given David Cameron an easy ride in recent interviews.
In a letter to Sue Inglish, the BBC’s head of political programming, Labour’s vice- chairman Dawn Butler says presenter-Sarah Montague avoided any “unexpected questions”.
Says Miss Butler: “On the last five occasions Mr Cameron has appeared on the Today programme, dating back to November 1, his interviews have lasted less than eight minutes, they have been exclusively on a subject of his own choosing, and no questions have been asked by the interviewers on any other topical issues.”
The BBC denies any bias. And we wonder if this is less the fault of the BBC than of its star interlocutor Jeremy Paxman, whose hectoring, smirky-style of interviewing is what we expect our politicians to endure.
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Posted: 4th, March 2008 | In: Politicians, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment
The BBC’s Shaky Coverage Of That UK Earthquake
DAVE Lee sees the earthquake that shook the UK on Sky News within 15 minutes. He lives in Lincoln, close to the epicentre.
Meanwhile the BBC fails to even mention the UK earthquake a full half an hour after it happened.
This was the earthquake brought on by global warming…
Posted: 1st, March 2008 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (4)
