Kerry Katona Auditions For Strictly Come Dancing
KERRY Katona would like OK! readers to know that she “celebrated my divorce by downing shots”.
Only there is no divorce from husband Marc Croft.
And those rumours of a “sex tape”.
Well, steady yourselves fans of short bald men shagging fat blonde women on grainy mobile phone footage – the tape turns out to be a “fake”.
So no divorce. No sex tape. But there are revelations and shocks.
- Kerry did NOT rip the family phone from the family wall.
- Marc did NOT take Kerry’s mobile away.
- Kerry did NOT call Brian McFadden.
- Kerry did NOT tell the children Molly and Lilly about her non divorce.
- Kerry did NOT self-destruct.
- Kerry did NOT intend to divorce Marc.
- Kerry is NOT having a baby.
Kerry is the hardest working denier in showbiz. In other Kerry Katona news:
“Marc kept me up all night snoring.”
Kerry then stands on one leg by a tree and says:
“I feel like I’m on Strictly Come Dancing – maybe they’ll ask me on the show now.”
Well, Kate Garraway performed pro-celebrity with marginally less mobility than Kerry’s display, so why not?
Kerry then recalls the night she packed her bags and checked into the Hilton Hotel, Manchester Airport. In the solitude she waited for her mobile to ring. And waited.
“I kept thinking, I could be dead for all you care – no one’s rang me! Then I was like, Kerry, you selfish cow, Jade Goody has just died and you’re throwing a tantrum.”
The shock affected us all in different ways.
The one night Marc stayed in a hotel. Kerry had friends over.
“We got drunk in my bedroom. We were dancing on the bed.”
(See Anorak: “I don’t like the taste of alcohol, that’s why when I go out, I just drink a few shots and get going and that’s it.”)
Then Kerry reflects:
“It gets me down that every week there’s a different story about me in the magazines.”
So says Kerry Katona in OK!…
Kerry Katona Milked And Bled Dry
Kerry Katona On Ice: New Body, New Mindset, New Pint
Posted: 21st, April 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
